Elusive, The Muse

I had promised a Resolutions post for Sunday. Sunday passed and I didn’t write a thing. I haven’t written anything but blog posts since June and I haven’t seen The Muse in that time either. Usually she’s pestering me if I go for more than a day, two at the most, without working on some fictional piece or another. Sure, I’ve had some random, incomplete ideas, so I’m not completely washed up, but not a single sentence of actual fiction has come from these fingers.

No, that’s not an excuse for missing Sunday. It’s merely my creative lament. I miss writing and I want to get back to Crandall, and Jordan, and Nik. Crandall is at the top of my list. While I think Jordan has more potential, I don’t like her as much. And Nik, he’s just for fun… for when I’m in the mood to write manlove smut.

Anyway, that’s still not an excuse. Onward…

I’m not going to make an excuse. I had a long, mentally-exhausting weekend, and I won’t feel guilty for not writing when I said I would. Frankly, it was foolish of me to think I’d want to do anything useful after two days of testing. As far as that CFP exam, I left feeling fairly good about it. I won’t know for sure for about six weeks. Then, I won’t get a score, just a form letter that says pass or fail. Annoying as fuck, but that’s the way it is. Long story short, I have a darn good chance of passing, but it wasn’t easy, so I won’t say I have it in the bag. I nailed the duration calculation. I messed up the calculation for the standard deviation of a two-asset portfolio. I knew both would happen that way because I knew what I knew going into it. When it comes down to pass or fail, I was comfortable with my knowledge level, and I’ve learned a ton in preparation for this. Either way, I’m ahead, but if I fail, the next sitting is in November… in the middle of football season. I didn’t go into bitch-mode more than twice for this exam, but I will live there if I have to miss Patriots games because I didn’t pull this off the first time.

Time will tell. About six weeks of time. I’m not worried. Not going to worry either.

As for the missing Resolutions post, I’ll get it done before the first of the month. I’ll probably do it this week sometime, but I also promised Nica help with her blog: Redhead Dreams. That’ll come first because that’s almost fiction. Yes, only almost. Nica writes herself. I only need to think about her long and detailed history, and her vibrant red curls bouncing around her heart-shaped face, and her soft giggle and cute boys, and I’m there. She takes over and I let her use my fingers. It takes a long time to get a character to that point. Nica is there. Nik is almost there. Crandall, strangely, started there. He told me that he was a vampire hunter. I had no intention of making his story paranormal at all. Fucking bastard. I can’t argue. He knows his own life. I just write it for him.

Anyway, thanks for bearing with me, Dear Readers. I’ll be back to writing – really writing – soon. That I can promise, because without fiction, I am empty and desolate. The Muse doesn’t show herself, but she is still here. I can feel her presence as her leathery wings flutter past me with only a tease of an idea. She’ll land on the monitor and drum her little heels against the screen, and then we’ll write again.



4 responses to “Elusive, The Muse

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