A couple of weeks ago, we attended a friend’s pool party. With more bodies in the hot tub than the manufacturer suggests, we played the rule game. One rule was to kiss the person to your left. Girls sitting besides girls didn’t bat an eye. Guys sitting beside guys instantly began The Squirm.
While I know a number of gay or bi men who would happily kiss their guy friends, I only know of one or two straight men who – with alcohol – might be coerced into following that rule. We weren’t asking for tongue; pecks on the cheek would’ve been acceptable. Yet not one male in that tub kissed more than a hand and not one male in that tub squirmed or looked away when I tongued the cute raven-haired girl.
The Squirm – aka, the double-standard – is mostly, if not wholly, accepted by both men and women.
Why should it be different? Why… other than straight men cannot handle things that are different from their carefully cultivated world? I don’t want to stereotype or generalize, but let’s be honest. Out of all the women you know, how many are okay with girls kissing girls? How many have kissed another girl (drunk and dares count)? Now, out of the men you know, how many are okay with the thought (not even having to witness it) of two men kissing? How many could be bribed, dared, drugged into kissing another man (on the cheek, if not the lips)?
Think you know the answer to those questions? Bring it up next time you are out socializing with a mixed crowd. You’ll see The Squirm.
This weekend, I was at a party with some of the same people who witnessed The Squirm during the hot tub game. Again, the question came up: why do I enjoy writing and reading gay male erotic romance? This time, instead of trying to explain it, I tried to turn it around. Why shouldn’t it be sexy? Of course, that caused more of the same reaction. So I put this out there: Wouldn’t guys be the best at giving blow jobs? Wouldn’t guys, with cocks of their own, (which, as you know, they’re constantly touching) know all the sensitive places better than any woman?
Someone one turned up the music, two of the guys started dancing together. They’re ploy worked. It distracted me and I let it drop. For the moment, I let it go. As they and I all know, it’s not the end of the conversation. They are secretly fascinated that a sexy married woman writes like a gay male and I am amused by both The Squirm itself, and eradicating it.