Counting Sheep

sleepI haven’t been writing. I started a couple of blog posts this week and they’re both in the draft section of this blog, much like old fish, stinking up the place. I browsed through some other half-done drafts for inspiration. I deleted several of those along the way.

It’s Thursday. I usually have CRANK posted by now, but I’ve yet to start it. I’m not sick of the story. Oh no, nothing like that. I have a scene for the club they’re playing the next day. I have a scene for a vampire confrontation. Crandall, however, has been resisting my attempts to convince him this current scene is important and he needs to chime in. He wants to sleep every time I get him talking.

Heaven’s Demons hasn’t inspired me since Sunday. I managed to edit about three pages Monday evening and, since it’s single-spaced, that counts as six if formatted correctly, but I haven’t typed the changes into the ‘script, nor do I know if they’re right yet. I’m pushing a deadline on this one and it’s not the first, so I don’t want to hold off and wait for another call for this type of story. My angel needs his wings.

I’m not blocked. I’m under the maelstrom of insomnia.

It comes and goes with no predictable pattern other than once it hits, it continues for several nights. I can fall asleep just fine, but staying asleep is near impossible. When I do wake during the night, I don’t wake enough to get up and do stuff. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could clean the pigsty of a kitchen since I’m not getting rest anyway. Instead, I wake, roll over, curse at the clock, and fall back asleep. It’s mentally draining and forget summoning the energy to go to the gym for my runs.

I don’t mind small breaks from writing. It happens. While it drives me nuts when I get blocked and I will bitch and cry about it, honestly, I know it will pass. This isn’t a block though, so it’s driving me to want to hurt someone. (It doesn’t help that there is one girl in the office that behaves as if she wants me to hurt her. Maybe I’ll break this by writing a flash about tormenting her until she stops being a self-centered, whining bitch.) Hurting morons aside, I have the desire – the NEED – to write, but being so exhausted every waking moment makes it difficult to string the words together.

If I could have a night of perfect sleep for every article I’ve read on insomnia, other sleep-related issues, and “cures” for better sleep, I’d not have this problem again in my lifetime. (Ok, slight exaggeration since I intend to live forever, but you get the gist. I’ve read a lot!) Yoga helps sometimes, but this exhausted, it’s hard to even do that. Meditation helps, but only if I can do it without dozing off. (You’d think that’s the point, but trust me, falling asleep after two minutes of meditation does not clear the chakras enough for six hours of rest.) I can dish out those recommendations to others who aren’t sleeping, but this week, this bout of it, I haven’t done either. They work, if I can focus long enough, so this is my kick in the pants. Tonight, yoga before bed, or maybe even during gaming (it kinda, almost fits the character after all).

Enough griping. I’m off to attempt to drag Crandall from bed for about one thousand words. If I can keep him awake for 600, I’ll be happy for today.



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